Dear Celeste,
The dog won’t leave me alone long enough to type whole sentences.
Ha! Tricked him.
THIS IS YOUR A P O S T R O P H E C A S T I N T E R V I E W !
This email questionnaire interview will be published unedited. Only the questions you do not answer will not appear.
2) Did you receive any awards in elementary school? If so, what were they? Which one were you most proud of? If not, did it bother you?
As far as I can remember, I was awardless in elementary school. Here’s a partial list of what I did not win: Best Easter Bonnet (3rd grade), Contest to Design a Poster for the School Talent Show (4th grade), Spelling Bee Champion (7th grade–I left out one of the T’s in “nighttime”), Perfect Attendance Certificate (ever). Except for the Perfect Attendance, they all bothered me. But honestly, I think I’d be a less interesting person if I had won any of them.
4) Is there an author’s name that you like more than their work?
I actually like Z. Z. Packer’s work a lot, but I like her name even more. The same goes with Kazuo Ishiguro (I wish my nickname could be “Ish”) and Gish Jen. And I’d like to read something by Thisbe Nissen someday and see if it’s as cool as her name.
5) What book would you recommend to a person who will be voting for the first time?
Catch-22, because if you’re going to stay sane in the current political climate, you need to develop a strong sense of absurdity.
6) Have you ever witnessed a crime?
That I wasn’t committing? As an earnest 16-year-old, I saw a bloody foot dangling out of the trunk of the car in front of me. I called the police, but it turned out to be a latex prank prop. It made me realize that I did not want to be a policewoman, a doctor, or a mortician.
7) Is there a breed of dog or cat you think it is in poor taste to own? Any other kind of pet?
Hairless cats. Purebred Siamese cats (too pointy in the face) and purebred Persian cats (too squashed in the face). Also, broods of adopted children from different countries. If you’re jetting around the globe trolling for adoptees, you’re not building a family. You’re putting together a variety pack.
10) Is there any word you wish didn’t exist? Any word you don’t like to hear spoken? Is there a word you wish were said more often?
I know someone who doesn’t like the word “panties,” spoken or written, but I have no such qualms. The words that tend to grate on me are corporatespeak, like “monetize” and “pushback.” They can be great in fiction, but it’s hard to say them out loud and not sound ridiculous.
What do I wish people would say more often? Words that are specific and rich but not obscure. Giddy. Smite. Twiddle. Scamper. Inkling. Twee. And snark.
To make up for the questions I didn’t answer, I’ll answer some of the questions you didn’t ask. Ramen noodles; Bob Dylan; Darwin’s Cafe; jinxes.
Thank you for your patience,
GBB
If you haven’t already, please listen to Celeste reading her short story, “We Are Not Strangers.”
{ 3 } Comments
I truly loved “We Are Not Strangers” which I read in the current issue of Meridian. Thank you for publishing this audio version.
Glad you liked it! We were so happy Celeste agreed to read for us. Did you happen to catch her story, “B & B” in the Summer issue of Alaska Quarterly Review? It’s also amazing.
I still have that issue of AQR in my reading queue, but thank you for alerting me. I did read another story of hers in Triquarterly, entitled “Lying,” and liked that one too.
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