Dear Michael Kimball,
The electricity is arcing. The dogs are barking. The kids are jumping up and down. The balloons are falling from the ceiling in a cascade of colors. The horns are blaring. The nostrils are flaring. Yes. It is your APOS TROPH ECAST INTE RVIE W.
This email questionnaire interview will be published unedited. Only the questions you choose not to answer will not appear.
1 ) What was the best piece of mail you ever received?
This is a difficult question: I’m going to go with the envelope with the first contract for THE WAY THE FAMILY GOT AWAY, my first novel.
2 ) Have you ever wanted to be another nationality? I don’t mean have you ever wanted to live in another country. I mean, have you ever really wished you had been born, say, Equadorian. If so, what country and why?
I have never wanted to be any nationality.
3 ) What is your least favorite form of exercise? Least favorite piece of exercise equipment? Least favorite article of workout attire?
I think that I would feel silly in a jazzercise class, but I’m not sure. I’ve never actually tried it. Also, those ski machines, that always felt awkward to me. Clothing article, it has to be jockstrap. I don’t want anything holding me down.
4 ) What book should someone read if they are not going to be able to spend the holidays with loved ones?
Why not listen to podcasts @ Apostrophe Cast? The voices will be reassuring. It’ll feel like company is over.
5 ) What cabinet position would you create if you were president?
What if there was actually a cabinetmaker?
6 ) Harrison Ford. Did you think of him as Indiana Jones first, or Han Solo? Does this reveal anything about your personality?
Indiana Jones, probably because when I first saw Star Wars I didn’t think of actors and characters as different, but when I saw Indiana Jones I did.
7 ) Do you have a favorite band? If so, what their worst album, why, and do you own it?
My favorite band right now is Celebration, which I can say because of the wording of the question, because they don’t have a worst album. Their first album, Celebration, is pretty great and their second album, Modern Tribe is even greater. There is no third album, so no best or worst.
8 ) Why do the British drive on the other side of the street? Why don’t we?
It’s mostly historical—to do with drawing swords and lashing horses. It’s just a different way of being in the world, more to the left. I think you already know the answer to that question.
9 ) Have you ever has a crush on a literary celebrity?
I used to stare at Linda Gregg’s jacket photo, also Sharon Olds’, but that was years ago. After you’ve done a jacket photo, you can never again look at them like that.
10 ) A man walks into a crowded old west saloon wearing only a hat that he is holding over his genitals. The music stops playing. The gamblers stop gambling. The bartender stops bartending. The whores stop whoring. All eyes are on him. He smiles broadly, opens his mouth and says . . . what?
Did you miss me?
That’s that.
Thanks,
GBB
Hear Michael Kimball read an excerpt from his novel, Dear Everybody here.
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