Apostrophe Cast News

Mice. Men. BJ Hollars.

1.) First off, what was the last thing you read that you enjoyed, before this email?

BJ Hollars: I just finished Ryan Harty’s “Bring me Your Saddest Arizona.” It was pretty great. Not really sad, and definitely not the saddest thing in Arizona, but it was just quiet and loud in all the right places, and that’s something I always like to shoot for.

2.) Have you ever invented a best-selling product?

BJH: Yes and no. I have the idea, but the patent’s in the works. Few know that the majority of landfills are filled with used diapers. So what if we invented a diaper that was made of the same material as those packing peanuts that dissolve in water? What if we could just take a dirty diaper and toss it in the toilet and watch it dissolve? All you babies out there, you may think you’re just sitting in poop, but really, you’re sitting on a goldmine.

3.) You have a podcast, “How To Be A Man and Other Myths”
(how-to-be-a-man.com), and I’m wondering if there are other instructional myths?

BJH: To tell you the truth, there really aren’t any instructional myths there at all. And, really, there’s not much to do with “being a man” either.
I just figured a lot of steroid guys would type something about being manly into google and my site would pop up. You got to shoot for that internet traffic, you know.

The most instructional myths I’ve ever heard all have to do with that Little Red Hen who said the sky was falling. I’ve been terrified of the sky ever since.

4.) What are your thoughts on manliness (definitions, symptoms, cures, implications, daily meditations)?

BJH: Now that’s a tough one. As a man who strives to be a real man, I like to begin my day with a brisk bicycle ride to the gym sometime around 5:30a.m. Maybe this is because I don’t have a car, I’m not sure. In any event, I do about ten minutes on the elliptical machine (and usually, I’m the only guy up there), and then I hit the weights. By 7:00a.m., I’m pretty much maxed out my manliness quota, and I seek cover in library nooks where the jocks can’t find me and give me a wedgie.

5.) In “Infestation,” the narrator notes that he can’t remember the last time he was called “Daddy,” or the last time he killed something. This smacked of two (possible) definitions of manliness–paternity and killing things. The character is also living in a houseful of women….I don’t have a question as much as I want to hear you talk about this..

BJH: I’ve always been interested in the male patriarch surrounded by females. I think this type of character has to try extra hard to fit some kind of mold. And I think, often, this type of character goes out of his way to try to portray the role of protector. But I also like to believe that there’s room for the loving father somewhere within the protector.

And which one is harder to pull off anyway? Growing up, sons resent their fathers and then, in the next cycle, those grown up kids have their own kids and soon face the same resentment. This sort of thing, I think, is just unavoidable. Men are certainly the supreme sex when it comes to masking feelings and trying to say I love you in strange and unlikely ways. Sometimes they kill mice to say I love you. Sometimes they don’t.

6.) Is the struggle for self-narrative, especially for men, a theme in your work?

BJH: It certainly might be. I try not to think about my themes too often because I feel like I’m still trying to feel them out. But I’ve always been interested in the male experience, and in particular, the same coming-of-age stuff you’ve probably seen a few hundred times before. I guess I’m just amazed by the evolution from high school punk to a father and husband within a decades time. How does this even happen? Darwin said it took thousands of years for man to descent from apes, and yet the transformation from high school punk to father and husband seems to be a very similar kind of leap, only with less time.

7.) Fuck themes, are you a man, or what?

BJH: Damn right I am. And I’ve got my secret decoder ring and handshake to prove I’m in the club.

8.) You live in Alabama at the moment, how’s the tide rolling? Do people think you are more of a interesting/exotic/crazy/gothic (not suggesting there was a lack of interest before) now that you live in Alabama?

BJH: My northern friends talk to me like I’m a specimen. I talk about cockroaches falling from my cereal boxes and they think it is a strange phenomenon. I tell them about what it’s like living two blocks away from the Bryant-Denny Football Stadium and they don’t even know the implications of such a living arrangement. The implication is this: the roar from the crowd is deafening.

But truly, Alabama isn’t as odd as everyone imagines it. I like to think that Atticus Finch is meandering around town hall somewhere in the state, but so far, I haven’t run across him.

9.) What’s the creepiest sound you ever recorded?

BJH: Once, and it was a dark time in my life, I had a band called “The Boyz in the Attic.” I was nine years old and I stole the name from Boyz II Men. I was the only person in the band and I didn’t play an instrument.

Basically, I just made music videos in my garage and in them, I walked around a card table which had a candle in the center. Anyway, somehow, my song got recorded. And like I said, it was a dark time.

10.) What sites on the ol’ internet do you find yourself perusing against your better judgement?

BJH: I’m from Fort Wayne, Indiana, and I find myself reading the local paper every day. I’m not sure why. Nothing is ever new except sometimes a dog bites someone or the fire department is called but everything is shipshape. It’s an incredible waste of time, and yet I check the high school football scores, and the strange thing is, I didn’t even care about those scores when I was in high school and lived there.

11.) What’s the wisest thing you’ve ever said or saw on a poster?

BJH: “When in doubt, call it out.” My friend’s dad told me this when I was on the high school tennis team. It sounded a lot like cheating to me, but it got me through a lot of close matches.

–DR