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{ 2007 11 23 }

A Tall Drink of Water: Joshua Parkinson

Dear Josh,

I’ve known you for a long time. I have made you steak and eggs. I know
you were a high school quarterback. I know you find pregnant women
sexually attractive. But do I really know you? Perhaps these
penetrating questions will unclose your secret soul to me.
1) Do you believe that the world will come to an end in your lifetime?

==>Not the world but humanity as it’s dominant life-form? I’d say there’s an 80 percent chance, yeah…

2) Do you believe in the resurrection of Jesus?

==>No.

3) What is the worst book you’ve ever read?

==>Mason and Dixon, that Pynchon joint…literary masturbation; pretty gross…

4) Have you always found pregnant women sexually attractive, or was
there a ‘Eureka!’ moment?

==>No ‘Eureka!’ moment unfortunately…they just GLOW, you know what I’m sayin?

5) What is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?

==>Tried to outsing a classmate in the fourth grade; she had this beautiful falsetto and I was jealous of the attention she got for it; I tried to outdo her and…I still get embarrassed thinking about that…

6) What was the greatest moment of your high school football career?

==>Beating Edna my senior year…even though we lost to a poorly-coached Hitchcock team and Edna ended up going to the state finals…Still, Edna beat everybody but us and it was because of my fucking passing…

7) Have you ever fantasized about holding a position of great
political power, and if so, what was that position and what did you do
with the power?

===>Yes, President, and I would do everything that won’t ever be done: a public financing system for political campaigns, a single-payer health care system, mandatory armed-service training for every 18-year-old, media de-conglomeration…all that jazz…

8) As a Texan, do you consider yourself superior in some way to non-Texans?

==>Only in size, baby…

9) What is the best present you have ever received?

==>GI Joe Hovercraft. I was twelve.

10) When was the last time you called your mother?

==>Wednesday.

Love,

GBB
==>and love JPP…

Posted by john on Friday, November 23, 2007, at 1:57 pm. Filed under fiction, podcasts. Follow any responses to this post with its comments RSS feed. You can post a comment or trackback from your blog.

{ 1 } Comments

  1. Jessie Merriam | November 25, 2007 at 5:54 pm | Permalink

    Josh…Danielle passed on this little gem of a cast to me. I enjoyed your story. It has a nice little backhand on it. And great names!

    The music is very nice too. When did Steve Grubbs become so cool?

    Thanks for sharing these things–

    Jessie

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